


holding back the faces i would make (aim. snap. fall.)

by thecolderwater



Category: 2NE1, After School (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Multi, Threesome - F/F/F, au as fuck, bom is perfect, chaerin is dumb and mean, i think im the only person who ships these three beautiful women together lol, nana is cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:44:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecolderwater/pseuds/thecolderwater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chaerin is dumb and temperamental for no reason. Bom is perfect and Nana isn't too far behind her. They're both going to make Chaerin's head explode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	holding back the faces i would make (aim. snap. fall.)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this out of sheer selfishness, also very much inspired by the clip of Nana meeting 2ne1 on the first season of Roommate and how CL had no facial filter and it did things to me. Thank you to my bestie Bruce for being my beta as usual. Love you.

Chaerin knows how important first impressions are. So when Dara and Bom invite her to a party, she goes to Bom’s place beforehand. This isn’t Jeremy Scott and the rest of New York’s glitterati. She doesn’t want to be the only one in Givenchy when everyone else is wearing Adidas.

“Well for starters, take off those dumb sunglasses,” Bom chastises, three shots of Soju ahead of her friends.

Chaerin’s eyebrows widen and she doesn’t comply, “no thanks,” she dismisses before taking the shot glass from Bom’s hand; Dara drives always and Chaerin doesn’t know how sober she can be and tolerate Bom’s friends. “Sexy CL, always wearing her shades,” Dara muses as she grabs her car keys. “Shall we go ladies?”

Justin Timberlake resonates through the room and Chaerin finds herself sitting on someone’s couch bopping her head, cold cup in her hand as she contemplates getting up and dancing. She doesn’t need a partner but it wouldn’t be the worst thing, so far the people Dara has introduced to her aren’t all that bad. She finally finds the resolve when Justin croons at her not to hold the wall for what feels like the hundredth time and she’s standing up when a body collides into her, the cold liquor seeping into her shirt.

“Are you fuckin’ –“ she hisses out, steadying her footing.

Of course Bom comes bouncing over seconds later, “Nana! Oh I see you’ve met –“ Chaerin cuts off Bom, glaring daggers at behind her shades, and Bom didn’t think they would work for this type of party. “Of course you’re friends with this…” she finally looks at the girl, it tilts her already inebriated equilibrium even further because _wow she’s actually beautiful_ but she’s already made herself look bad. It’s only because she’s drunk and the song she wanted to dance to is over now and she doesn’t like the new one playing.

If she was a little bit more sober she would see the girl was apologetic and probably apologize herself but Chaerin just sees a missed opportunity because of a klutz. “Chaerin-ah! Chill, Nana is my friend!” Bom explains, putting a hand on both of them. “Let’s all be friends!” Bom is just as drunk or more under the influence as Chaerin.

“Nah, this shirt is dry clean only.”

Chaerin wakes up the next day hung over and as soon as the memories from the night flutter back into her mind she finds herself groaning into a pillow. She can get temperamental when she’s been drinking, especially when someone gets her clothes dirty. She bribes Minzy with a workout session to take her shirt to the cleaners too guilt ridden to try and leave her apartment for the day. She wonders if she should send Nana a fruit basket as way of apologizing (for what?) and then remembers she actually doesn’t know this girl.

But it would be a little too late anyways.

It’s all but implied in the group text that Dara and Bom can’t invite Chaerin to the next party.

They think she’s a bitch; it’s her own fault really.

**

She’s recovered enough from her last drunken blunder and treats herself to a day of shopping; she’s given a lot of clothes to Harin that she knows will be put to better use but wants to refill the space. That’s why when she sees some heels on display and she knows exactly what’s already in her closet that will look amazing with them? She strides over unwaveringly, reaching out to grab the box (just her size too) at the same time another hand reaches. She’s too enraged to think about the buzz of electricity at the touch of their skin. “Yah – I saw them first!” she declares and she looks up at who the idiot of the day and groans to herself.

It just _had_ to be Nana.

“No, I saw them first,” she bristles. Nana can’t help to cower a little, she’s taller than Chaerin but their first encounter is still fresh in her mind. “—I need to get a friend a late birthday gift I know she’s been eyeing these shoes for weeks.”

“She should have bought them when she first saw them, and what kind of friend are you? Who gives gifts late?” Chaerin doesn’t having a biting tongue, she’s as harmless as they come, but she _really_ wants these shoes. “Mine –“ she tugs the box off the shelf and away from Nana’s touch. “Get your friend a scarf perhaps?” and she turns on her heel in the direction of the register. The triumphant smirk on his lips fading into a dreaded scowl as she realizes what she just did; why does this keep happening? And why does Nana keep popping up out of nowhere, bringing out the worst in Chaerin?

The shoes sit in her closet unworn for months.

**

Chaerin can’t say no to Bom. She actually thinks it’s against the law, really. She doesn’t want to go to prison, that’s her excuse for being at this party. She’s not a partier, she wouldn’t have minded watching movies and sitting at home with her friend, the point of them hanging out was to ‘catch up’ after all. How is she supposed to catch up with her friend when she is nowhere to be found? The place reeks of marijuana and she can feel the bass of the deep house track in her chest. She thinks she has a contact high as she wades through the haze of smoke in her travels to find Bom. Sticking her head in unfamiliar doors until she finds a sight she’d never thought she see. Bom and Nana in bed, kissing each other like it’s going out of style. Bom’s dress bunched up under her breast, Nana’s hand between her thighs.

Chaerin can hear the wet sounds over the music.

“Chae – either come in or close the door,” Bom manages to get out, Nana is tugging at her dress, getting it up and over her head.

Chaerin walks in and shuts the door behind her, locking it for good measure.

This isn’t the first time she’s found herself stripping with intent in front of Bom, she works too much to date (yet always finds the time to accommodate Bom’s requests and it’s something she doesn’t like to overthink about) and Bom is good with her mouth. Good enough that the warmth in Chaerin’s body rises as she just thinks about what Bom can do to her. “Isn’t she so sexy?” Bom coos as she watches Chaerin climb into the bed as much as one gracefully can when they’re turned on beyond belief but trying to act otherwise.

She finds herself between Nana and Bom on the bed.

Bom’s lips are soft and familiar against Chaerin’s own; it helps her feel less exposed being naked in front of a new pair of eyes. Bom’s always been kind of the life raft Chaerin knows she can cling to and it won’t buckle under her weight. There’s a hand on her thigh and Chaerin shudders, Bom breaks into giggles against her mouth. The contact high has Chaerin pliant and receptive to the touch, she could kiss Bom all night but pulls away to moan from the sudden attention on her clit. Nana’s fingertips move expertly as Chaerin gets comfortable against the pillows, the warmth settling in her stomach as she watches Bom and Nana kiss again above her. It just amps her arousal and she feels like she should contribute more, she sits up slightly, “Bommie…” she whispers, tapping her knee and Bom’s thighs part instinctively. Bom is already slick and hot when Chaerin skims her cunt and her mind automatically takes her back to when she first saw Nana and Bom in bed. She wonders if Nana does Bom like she does, she likes to take her time, make Bom squirm and beg for it. She wonders how many times Nana made Bom come before Chaerin even realized Bom was gone from the party. Chaerin is lost in her thoughts and the way her fingers slide easily into Bom that she doesn’t realize her hips are chasing Nana’s hand, rolling up on their own accord as her body buzzes with the anticipation.

Bom and Nana have stopped kissing now, both eyes on Chaerin as she moans quietly, her hand quickens out of habit, “fuck –“ she comes with a groan, eyes widening as they lock on Nana’s. She can feel Bom’s thighs shake with her own release but she’s locked in a staring contest she refuses to lose as she regains her breath.

Chaerin blinks. The victory smirk on Nana’s face makes Chaerin frown and she sits up, pushing Nana down on her back and Chaerin scoots down the bed. Nana has long legs Chaerin takes note as she gets between them. Between Nana’s thighs her tongue gets to work right away, Chaerin doesn’t know why she feels like she needs to prove herself; Bom could just tell Nana how good Chaerin is at this. She has other plans as she sucks at Nana’s clit; she digs her nails into Nana’s thighs and revels at the hiss it produces from the other girl. Nana’s whimpers make her stomach jump and she hates it, the buzzing in her body gaining current as she eases a couple fingers inside of her cunt. Bom always needs something to clench down on; Chae thinks Nana might be the same. Nana is so wet against Chaerin’s mouth; the room is loud with the obscene slurping noises from her working her over.

Their eyes meet as Nana cries out with her release, chest heaving and flushed with the prettiest shade of pink Chaerin has seen in a long time. She knows her face is shiny with it as she sits up and let’s Bom kiss her, not even a beat passes before she’s licking into Chae’s mouth and she’s finding her second wind but she can’t stay here, not when she can still feel Nana’s eyes on her. It takes everything in her to push Bom off, “I’m gonna go,” she announces to Bom’s displeasure. “Stay, I want a cuddle,” she whines, watching Chaerin get dressed.

“This is my apartment, Bom is making me breakfast tomorrow when everyone finally leaves, stay” Nana finally speaks out, her voice scratchy. Chaerin ignores the smug satisfaction that settles on her shoulders, she’s fully dressed and reaches for her shades, “I have to go, I’ll text you later Bom.”

She can’t spare them a glance as she leaves the room.

**

Sleeping with Bom becomes a regular occurrence.

Chaerin thinks if she kisses Bom hard enough she can forget the ardent eyes that haunt her when she close her own. Bom is the perfect placeholder; she’s got long legs and always welcomes Chaerin’s eager touch. She actually stays in the bed when they finish, blushing as she feeds Bom corn soup and she’s serving compliments in return.

“My Chaerin-ah, you spoil me so much,” Bom gushes after swallowing another spoonful. Chaerin just nods wordlessly, bruising her lips to the underside of her jaw. She came over and they almost didn’t make it to Bom’s bedroom, Chaerin thought she saw Nana while at the supermarket. She was picking up tea and kimchi when she heard a girl laugh and it sounded like music and Chaerin wasn’t strong enough to fight the urge to look and glanced out the corner of her eyes and her heart stopped, she wasn’t entirely sure if it was Nana or not but she can’t think about the girl without remembering how she sounded as she came in her mouth. So the corn soup is a guilt gift, honestly. “I’m going to get a glass of water,” Chaerin states, handing Bom over the bowl to finish eating on her own.

Dara is sitting on the couch watching TV when Chaerin sits down with her, water in hand and sighs, taking a healthy gulp. Her body aches in a good way that keeps her mind off of things until Dara finally speaks, “Bom isn’t getting any younger.” Chaerin’s heart drops into her stomach and she swallows too hard and winces at the tightness in her chest. Dara doesn’t get enough credit, perspective as hell she has the smarts to go with it, she’s more than just her timeless beauty and she never fails to remind Chae of this. “Dara I…” Chaerin is at a loss of words as she blinks at the TV, she’s confused, she’s frustrated. She hasn’t had a decent night of sleep in weeks and when she does finally sleeps deep enough it’s when Bom is running a hand through her hair and she’s imagining the phantom presence of Nana on her other side. “You don’t have to break your brain trying to explain yourself,” Dara says sympathetically, “but this isn’t a game to her. Don’t forget that.” Chaerin nods mutely and gets up. She’s going to let Bom make her forget how much of a deplorable human being she knows everyone thinks she is again.

**

When she’s not in Bom’s bed or at work she’s at Baekseok University watching Minzy study, it’s nice to have a change of scenery every now and then and Minzy always asks the right questions. She asks about Chaerin’s dad and sister, about work. Never about the hickeys that never seem to fade from her collarbone or why the bags under her eyes keep getting heavier.

Until she decides enough is enough.

“Unnie, I say this with love – you look like crap,” Minzy states. “I’ve listen to you talk about the next book your dad plans to have published and how everyone at work wants you to help them clean out their desk but avoiding the real issues here won’t solve anything. I love that we’ve gotten to hangout more, I haven’t gotten to see you guys much since the term started but you’re only here hiding from the problem in Seoul.” Chaerin hates how right Minzy is and inhales sharply, more than a little affronted from her friend’s words and puts her sunglasses back on.

She fakes an emergency phone call from Jiyong and leaves Minzy to her studies.

**

She goes a week without seeing Bom, only texting her back hours after she’s messaged Chaerin first.

Dara and Minzy’s words prompted Chaerin to distance herself from her friend but it doesn’t really help. Chaerin misses Bom terribly.

The guilt leads her to buy the biggest stuffed animal she could find, too much pride to feel ashamed as she holds it in her lap in the back of the taxi to Bom’s apartment. She wouldn’t be surprised to be greeted at the door by Dara or Seunghyun but its Nana who opened the door after Chaerin rang the doorbell. Sleepy eyed and looking perfect as usual, Chaerin’s breath catches in her throat. “…I can come back later,” she starts but Nana wakes up more at the sight of the giant stuffed bear in Chaerin’s hands and pulls her inside by her elbow. “Bom went out with Dara and I fell asleep on the couch,” Nana explains, as she closes the door behind Chaerin. “Is that for Bom? It’s cute,” she compliments, reaching out to touch the bear gently. The weight is starting to make Chaerin’s arms ache and she drops the bear (she was hoping Bom would name him because Chaerin’s mind kept drawing blanks) on the couch. “Yeah…” she answers lamely, inwardly cringing at how awkward this all is.

“Listen, Nana,” Chaerin starts, pushing her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose before Nana bravely steps forward and takes them off. Everyone has their habits of choice, their security blankets. Dara plays with her fingers, Bom just straight up cries no use in trying anything else, Minzy probably reads the bible or dances until the frustration is gone. All Chaerin has to keep some sort of control and pride is the fact that no one can see her eyes. With that taken away? She feels vulnerable and glares at Nana, masking her fear with irritation, “yah! Give those back!” she demands right away. And Nana’s little smile falters for a second and Chaerin catches it, feeling guilt instantly and sighs.

“You look like shit, when was the last time you had a full night of sleep? Have you eaten today?” Nana blurts out and Chaerin narrows her eyes at her as she begins to pace back and forth. “Why does everyone keep saying this? I already know this!” she exclaims, pinching the bridge of her nose. Nana sounds genuinely worried and that sets Chaerin off, “And I’m not a bitch alright?” she snaps, looking up at Nana pleadingly. The idea of Nana hating Chaerin or even worse _fearing_ her makes Chaerin’s stomach knot up and her chest twinge with an unfathomable sadness that confuses and consumes her for nights on end, “I’m not a bad person, I promise! I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” she trails off feeling exhausted all of a sudden.

Nana hasn’t stopped smiling at Chaerin.

“Can I tell you something? Can I have the floor for a second?” Nana sounds so amused with herself as she waits politely for Chaerin to let her speak (more.) Out of words, Chaerin nods curtly, unable to stop herself as she stops pacing to look at Nana expectantly. “I wanted to ask you to dance, at the party? That’s why I walked over; I didn’t mean to get your drink all over your shirt. I often think about how things would have gone if I had just waited to find you on the dance floor. Bom is so lucky…” and Chaerin is so dumb. “Why is she lucky?” she questions, Chaerin is the lucky one, really. “Because…” Nana trails off, she’s timid Chaerin notices.

“She talks about you a lot, I know you care for her deeply –“

“Of course I care about her, Bommie-unnie is my best friend, and we’re close.”

Too close Chaerin is beginning to realize, because calling Bom just her best friend leaves an unsavory aftertaste in her mouth and she doesn’t know when things got so blurry.

Looking at Nana makes her vision a little clearer.

Clear enough to make Chaerin tug Nana down by the collar of her shirt to kiss her soundly on the mouth. It’s one of the things that plagued her for weeks after the second party; she spent hours in bed staring at the ceiling wondering what Nana’s lips would have felt like if she wasn’t such a coward and stuck around to figure out. Of course they feel better than Chaerin’s imagination could ever configure and she slouches in relief. Nana is enthusiastic in return, arms circling around Chaerin’s neck as she grins into the kiss, having to pull back for a beat, “sorry,” she murmurs. “I don’t think you’re a bitch, by the way,” Nana adds quickly, pecking her cheek; Chaerin’s eyes are still closed, Nana is painfully endeared by that. “And I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise, that was never my intention.”

Chaerin doesn’t want to think about the past, she doesn’t want to think about how she’s been so blind and the painful truth – they’re inevitable.

“Shut up and kiss me,” she doesn’t care how bitchy and demanding she sounds.

**

She finds sick comfort in the realization that the room smells distinctively like Bom’s perfume while still having the residual reek of sweat and sex mingled in. Nana is fast asleep; she was already tired before she let Chaerin wear her out some more.

In Bom’s bed no less.

Chaerin is still confused but the achy feeling in her chest as lessened considerably after finally talking to Nana. She’s listening to the sound of Nana’s breathing when the door opens and she puts a finger up to her lips, its Bom, clutching the bear with a smile, and she lets out a quiet squeak and nods, seeing Nana, she also notes their lack of clothes but doesn’t say anything about it. Bom knows one of them will explain eventually, “Is this mine?” she tries to keep her whisper as contained as she can when she’s so excited and it makes Chaerin grin as she nods, “yes,” she mouths back. Bom squeals silently where she stands before pressing a big kiss to the bear’s cheek.

“ _I love you_ ,” she mouths to Chaerin.

Chaerin loves Bom too, a lot really; and if she keeps her sunglasses off? She can see herself loving Nana as well.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be strictly Nana/CL but it got very BomRin centric as I kept writing and I'm sorry about that (not really I love BomRin), hence the ambiguous ending... lol. Shout out to all my friends who put up with me while I wrote this.


End file.
